What really goes on at a Puja?

When we were growing up, we always knew when my Dad was stressed out. He would get really quiet, sit on his chair facing the depanneur and just be deep in thought as though the whole world sat on his shoulders. Sometimes it would last a few hours, sometimes a few days but if it was a more serious problem sometimes weeks.

This pic always reminds me of the baby Krishna dipping his hands into the bowl of honey

His methods of solving these problems were not always conventional. I mean , if people were having problems paying bills, the obvious solution would be to cut back on expenses. If business was slow, advertise, reduce prices. Problems with the wife?... Pay more attention to her. But not my dad. I guess he just assumed that these problems were just too complex to be solved with simple solutions We never really knew what the exact nature of the problems were. All we knew that at the time, something was just not right.

After a few days of deep thinking, he would go into a locked room, place a call and after a few minutes of hushed conversation on the phone would march into the living room and announce that he was having a puja. If we were bold enough, one of us would ask..why?
Then in that thundering voice he would say he’s having a grah because it’s not a good year for him!!!

Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term. A puja is simply the act of showing reverence to a god, a spirit, or another aspect of the divine through invocations, prayers, songs, and rituals. In practice, each Hindu worships those few deities that he or she believes directly influence his or her life. There are 3 main deities, Vishnu, Shiva and Devi.

My mother would then steups because we all knew what that meant- Fasting for the next week or so. Fasting meant avoiding anything “fresh” as my grandmother would say ie meat, meat by-products ( I think I was cheating whenever I had a poutine since wouldn’t the gravy be considered a meat by-product?), eggs and fish.

My friends at school all knew I was in fast mode after the third day of seeing me bring a cheese and butter sandwich for lunch. “Oh no, Stacy’s on the starvation diet again”After the elaborate preparations were done for the puja, guests invited and the ceremony was complete, my dad’s whole demeanor would change. All of a sudden, he was a new man. He started shaving again, money appeared out of nowhere to pay bills, business picked up and life as we knew it returned back to normal- all thanks to Lord Vishnu

I have a good appreciation of Hinduism thanks to my dad and that side of the family. I attend catholic mass but also observe the Hindu holidays and customs.

The other day, I was invited to a puja at a friend’s house. I readily accepted since I hadn’t been to church in a while and figured a few blessings couldn’t hurt.I walked into the house and as I walked down the side hallway passing the ceremony, I felt hot stares burning into me. Now Trinidadian pujas are quite the peculiar event. There were only a handful of people I observed actually sitting down listening to the pundit. The majority of people were in different rooms having lively conversations and a lot were in the kitchen. The kitchen was a bustling scene of Indian ladies in every shape and every color wearing their finest shalwars and saris. Most of them were helping to prepare the foods. There was also an assembly line of women helping to dole out various Indian sweets from parsad, jellaby and fruits into plastic bags

And then I saw her. The 300 lb Indian lady that we’ll call Vashti. You see her at every trini party, every puja, every dinner. Nobody knows who invited her- she’s just there. The loudest person in the whole place. For those of you who live in Montreal, I’m sure you all know her.

There was Vashti stirring this massive iron pot sitting on the ground. In it was a bubbling yellow concoction with a whole bunch of yellow split pea balls in it that Trinis call “Boulders”. The dish is called karhee and I'm not ashamed to say.. love it.

Of course, all the people in the room stopped talking to look my way and then the hot stares began again. The Indian ladies were dissecting every inch of me, taking in my pretty new bangles, my brand new Indian cotton shirt, all the weight I’d lost since the baby. I hope I don’t turn out to be one of them when I’m 50.. A few I knew said hello and embraced me. But Vashti, who always says hi to me, just turned her head away. I was puzzled.

I sat down to listen to the pundit’s sermon which today consisted of how to achieve peace in your life by letting go of lust and greed. As I looked around, it occurred to me again that almost nobody except for me and 2-3 other people were actually listening. Some of them were engrossed in conversations, and judging from the smiles on their faces, letting go of lust and greed seemed the farthest things from their minds. some had the audacity to be sleeping away right in front of the man. The rest were in the kitchen having what seemed like a great old time preparing the food. The laughter could be heard from where I was sitting.

Sitting at the communal dining hall in local temple

I got up to go to the bathroom and had to pass the kitchen. Once again, vashti avoided my glance in her direction. I kept thinking, what the hell did I do to piss Vashti off?

I was sitting listening to the mass trying to take in what the pundit was trying to tell us. Thinking of what a material life I really live. Working to buy myself nice things when these nice things were not going to save my soul. Worrying constantly about bills when I should have just have a little faith in God- he would provide me with everything that I needed. I felt a sense of peace coming over me. My latest credit card bill just seemed so far ooff… That’s when vashti finally came and sat next to me. She gave me a quick smile and then I asked her how she was doing. She just shook her head, stared off into space and I knew right then and there that something was not right.

I told her I hadn’t seen her in a while. She said there was a reason for that. She said she doesn’t go back to my mother in law’s house because “she been sayin’ a lot of nasty tings ‘bout she”
I decided then and there that I didn’t want to hear it. It just seemed the most improper time and my gut told me that this was going to be some sordid piece of gossip. And then…”Yuh hear what she said?”
I said no. I really, REALLY didn’t want to hear it. This lady was going to corrupt my karma.
“Yuh notice ah lost a lot of weight?”
No, not really is what I wanted to say,. In fact, she looked like she just loaded up on about 5 paratha rotis washed down with a whole baby curried goat. but I just smiled and nodded
“Well, de lady say that the reason ah lost all dis weight is because…”
pls, pls don’t say it.
I was hoping the sounds of the pundit chanting “OM PraaNaaya svaaha” would just drown out her voice. Go away vashti.
And she said it…
“because I was sleeping with plenty of black men”
I think I was more shocked by the fact the vashti actually believed she had lost a lot of weight than this revelation of her apparent sex-ploits.
I couldn’t believe the woman had the audacity to actually discuss her sex life in the midst of a sacred function.
I gritted my teeth.
How come I don’t experience this when I go to church. It can be a dry ceremony, yes. The most contact we get to the other church-goers is a simple handshake and “Peace be with you”. Lucky if you get a smile out of that. But The service gives me a chance to reflect upon my past week’s deeds or misdeeds and I can walk away from the service with a sense of redemption. That God has given me another chance and I can walk away with a lighter heart and start the week fresh again.
All I walked away with today was disturbing pictures of 300-lb Vashti cavorting with her men-friends.

Now don’t get me wrong- I have total respect for Hinduism, it’s ideals, its followers steadfast devotion to GOD and always marvel at the complexities of the symbolism embedded within each ritual that take place within the puja.

What I find objectionable is the people who come to pujas for all the wrong reasons. If you have a dire need to talk about what an asshole your new boss is…call your friend up and talk over the phone..it’s FREE!
Wanna people watch?…head downtown and hang out on the terrasses and look at all the people you want.
You enjoy cooking/entertaining for a large amount of people? Join the local f-ing soup kitchen !!!!!!!

Religious events are just that…religious and should be respected and kept sacred. Open your mind and your ears the next time you are at a Puja, Vashti...you might just learn something.